Formal Self-introductory Letter
Subject: Formal Letter of Self-introduction
Dear Mr. Blackstone,
My name is Keric and I graduated from diploma in materials science from Singapore Polytechnic. As a science graduate, I found that engineering was similar to what I had studied and I decided to enroll into Sustainable Infrastructure Engineering (Land) (SIEL) in Singapore Institute of Technology (SIT). SIEL gave me the hope of securing a job that is on-site and in-the-field, rather than being stuck behind a desk 5 days a week.
I am somewhat confident of presenting a message or content to an audience, regardless of size. Back in my polytechnic days, I had numerous formal presentations. I even had an opportunity to share an opening speech to a new cluster of science freshmen as the president of the Freshmen Orientation Programme 2014 Committee. I have had peers who commented that my command of English was exceptional, although I honestly believe that preparation, rather than great command of English, is key to any presentation.
Like many others, I become nervous when i present; nervousness is the Achilles heel of my presentation abilities. Stuttering, memory black-outs and mispronunciations are common symptoms of nervousness. Thus, through this effective communications module, I will strive to be able to learn, unlearn and relearn what is needed to communicate to an audience effectively, in hopes of curbing my nervous self, because only through practice will I have confidence in what I do.
Apart from spoken communication, I need lessons on how to write better. Although I am able to write technical reports with confidence, there is always room for improvement. As your student and in the future, a professional engineer, I ought to open my eyes to ways to improve my writing skills, starting with the fundamentals.
I am looking forward to effective communications classes in the remaining Trimester 1.
Regards,
Keric Phua
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Edited on:
11 Sep 2017, 7.19pm
18 Sep 2017, 3.45pm
22 Sep 2017, 4.32pm
27 Sep 2017, 9.37am
Blogs read and commented:
Yong Quan
Xue Le
Claudia
Jasson
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Dear Mr. Blackstone,
My name is Keric and I graduated from diploma in materials science from Singapore Polytechnic. As a science graduate, I found that engineering was similar to what I had studied and I decided to enroll into Sustainable Infrastructure Engineering (Land) (SIEL) in Singapore Institute of Technology (SIT). SIEL gave me the hope of securing a job that is on-site and in-the-field, rather than being stuck behind a desk 5 days a week.
I am somewhat confident of presenting a message or content to an audience, regardless of size. Back in my polytechnic days, I had numerous formal presentations. I even had an opportunity to share an opening speech to a new cluster of science freshmen as the president of the Freshmen Orientation Programme 2014 Committee. I have had peers who commented that my command of English was exceptional, although I honestly believe that preparation, rather than great command of English, is key to any presentation.
Like many others, I become nervous when i present; nervousness is the Achilles heel of my presentation abilities. Stuttering, memory black-outs and mispronunciations are common symptoms of nervousness. Thus, through this effective communications module, I will strive to be able to learn, unlearn and relearn what is needed to communicate to an audience effectively, in hopes of curbing my nervous self, because only through practice will I have confidence in what I do.
Apart from spoken communication, I need lessons on how to write better. Although I am able to write technical reports with confidence, there is always room for improvement. As your student and in the future, a professional engineer, I ought to open my eyes to ways to improve my writing skills, starting with the fundamentals.
I am looking forward to effective communications classes in the remaining Trimester 1.
Regards,
Keric Phua
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Edited on:
11 Sep 2017, 7.19pm
18 Sep 2017, 3.45pm
22 Sep 2017, 4.32pm
27 Sep 2017, 9.37am
Blogs read and commented:
Yong Quan
Xue Le
Claudia
Jasson
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Greetings,
ReplyDeleteI feel that certain sentences have too many running commas which could be broken down into smaller sentences.
Apart from that, the reflection is very insightful and i wish you all the best .
Best regards,
Yongquan
First paragraph, second sentence - "what i had studied and i decided"
ReplyDeleteFourth paragraph, third sentence - " i ought to open"
The "i" is not capitalized.
Other then those minor mistake, your writing is quite well done.
other than, not other then. haha
DeleteHello Keric,
ReplyDeleteYou did a great job in this piece of writing and wow no wonder you can speak so well and confidently in class president! I certainly hope that i can learn something from you from today on-wards. I agree with your weakness because i experience that myself, it is never easy to do a presentation without proper preparations or with a good command of language. Lets work towards our goals!
Cheers!
Thanks NK! Though I give credit to the many practices I had in poly
DeleteDear Keric,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this formal letter. You draw a decent picture of how you have developed an interest in engineering. You also provide an example of a strength and a weakness in terms of communication, though I'd suggest that both your second and third paragraphs lack guiding topic sentences. At the same time, your goals for this module are clear enough. One item you mention in that regard is the 'fundamentals' of language use. To that end, you need to review the following:
1) I am a Diploma... >>> This is funny; you don't look like a diploma.
2) overuse of caps:
-- Effective Communications module
-- Diploma in Materials Science
3) Like many others, nervousness is the Achilles heel of my presentation abilities. >>> (odd modifier/sentence structure)
The phrase 'like many others' modifies the word 'nervousness.' Here is what your sentence is, in effect, stating:
Like many other problems, nervousness is the Achilles heel of my presentation abilities.
here is what you want to write:
Like many others, I become nervous when I present; nervousness is the Achilles heel of my presentation abilities.
Do you understand this?
4) Although I am able to write technical reports with confidence, albeit, there is always room for improvement. >>> (sentence structure)
Although I am able to write technical reports with confidence, there is always room for improvement.
These are minor issues, of course, and they should not eclipse your many strengths. In fact, they simply give us something to work on this term.
Cheers,
Brad
Brad,
Delete... a diploma in materials science graduate"? is it wrong as well?
Thanks for the feedback though!